I have two very different concepts for your consideration today. Most of us agree that hitting children just isn’t necessary, effective or even civil. But while we may want to formalize the end of physical punishment of children, many parents are still concerned about the criminalization of parents who do hit kids. So, today we talk about that. Let’s put those concerns to rest and get on with the real job, that of protecting our children from physical punishment.
For a second topic, I received a press release about opportunities for our University students who wish to study abroad. If your child is about to enter University and might want to try an international experience this information is for you and your child.
Dispelling the Arguments Against Banning Spanking
Hitting kids just isn’t a good way to teach them how to behave. In 1978, when I first started my speaking business the idea that disciplinary tactics should not include physical punishment was almost revolutionary. But I felt that it was neither a necessary nor an effective way to discipline children.But today, increasingly we know and believe that we do not need to physically hurt children in order for them to learn right from wrong. Today’s parents have a host of skills and resources to help them raise children without using violence. The idea of hitting kids reflects an attitude toward children that no longer exists. The research is in. It shows that the risks of physical and psychological harm are definite. We now accept that children are not chattels; they are human beings who possess all of the basic human rights including freedom from physical harm.But, there are still questions that I hear about the topic. So, let’s address them. There are many who express the belief that spanking is not hitting. All I can answer to that is that any time an open hand moves with speed toward a body part, that is a slap or a whack. The fact that the body part is the bottom of a child is irrelevant. Hitting is hitting no matter what other names we give it, and if we believe that violence is never an answer, we won’t hit our children.What about the criminalization of well-meaning parents who hit a child? Section 43 of the criminal code states that “every schoolteacher, parent or person standing in the place of a parent is justified in using force by way of correction toward a pupil or child, as the case may be, who is under his care, if the force does not exceed what is reasonable under the circumstances.” In my view this section is unnecessary to our criminal law because it exists simply to justify the physical punishment of children. For some parents it offers permission to hit kids.
Although banning spanking would mean that hitting children would fall in the same category as hitting adults and would therefore be an offence under the criminal code, it would rarely be prosecuted. Prosecution is only appropriate where it is in the public interest. Prosecutors have that discretion in deciding whether an offence should be prosecuted. In the case of the spanking of children, guidelines could require parenting education, parent support and guidance or a simple reminder that hitting children isn’t permitted in Canada.
Think about a situation in which a couple is in a major argument and one slaps the other. It’s not particularly serious and is a result of the heat of the moment. There is likely not going to be a charge of assault placed on the perpetrator.
What about using force to keep a child from harm? Would it be illegal to grab a toddler who is about to run onto the road? How about wrangling a preschooler into a car seat? Or taking the hand of a child to remove them from a classroom when they are disruptive? Consent to reasonable force can be either express or implied. It is express when, for example, written consent is given for a medical operation. It is implied when the person against whom the force is used would have consented, if competent to do so.
The common law has long recognized that parents and teachers may have to use reasonable force to remove a child from harm, put an unwilling child to bed, in a car seat, or on a school bus. These are common, child-caring actions for which the law implies consent on the part of the child. They are entirely different from hitting a child for correction and do not constitute an assault.
Over the years, the courts have adjusted the law to reduce the ways in which parents can hit their children. They can no longer use switches, paddles or belts, but only hit with an open hand. You can no longer hit a child on his head. And children under the age of two or over twelve are not to be hit.
Why won’t Canada join the more than thirty countries that have in one way or another stated that their children will not be physically harmed in the name of child discipline?
Our children deserve the best we can offer. Positive discipline which never includes causing them physical pain but does teach them right from wrong will prepare them to become capable adults.
(There is more information on physical punishment and the research at http://www.repeal43.org and at http://www.cheo.on.ca/en/physicalpunishment)
UNIVERSITIES FROM AROUND THE GLOBE SHOWCASE INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMS AT THE CROSS-CANADA STUDY AND GO ABROAD FAIR IN MARCH
As the trend towards “internationalizing” education in Canada continues, the Study and Go Abroad Fair, recognized as Canada’s largest international university and student travel expo, features a myriad of post-secondary studies from Certificate programs to Bachelor’s, Master’s and Doctorate degrees, as well as gap year and other student travel opportunities. The student expo will take place in Montreal on Saturday, March 2nd, in Toronto on March 3rd and in Vancouver on March 5th, and admission is free of charge.
“Studying in a foreign country develops globally competent citizens, who are self-motivated, independent and able to easily adapt to different cultures and new situations. Companies looking to compete internationally are looking for people who can engage globally, and the skills developed while studying abroad can set you apart from your peers when applying for a job,” says Anita Kuehnel, Director of the Study and Go Abroad Fairs.
Visitors to the Study and Go Abroad Fair have an opportunity to meet face to face with universities from around the world to learn about admission requirements, scholarships, program choices and destinations. Universities, many of which rank in the Top 100 worldwide, will be showcasing programs in medicine, law, pharmacy, hotel management, business, technology, science, and culinary and liberal arts, among other fields. In the Travel Pavilion, student travel experts will be giving out information on working, volunteering and taking internships overseas.
The Study and Go Abroad Fair opens at 1pm in Montreal and Toronto and at 3pm in Vancouver, but visitors are encouraged to arrive an hour earlier to hear our guest speakers. Information sessions will feature topics such as undergraduate and postgraduate study opportunities in Australia, the UK, and Switzerland, studying Medicine abroad, and working and volunteering in a foreign country.
Exhibitor profiles, scholarship information and seminar schedules for the STUDY AND GO ABROAD FAIR can be found online at www.studyandgoabroad.com, along with details of our Grand Prize Draw. Prizes include an international Air Canada flight, two return flights to Europe on Lufthansa, a volunteer trip to Nicaragua or Nepal and an iPad.
Bring Parenting Today to Your Community
Parenting Today is keen to speak as part of your professional development event, parenting workshop or workplace wellness support program. I offer keynotes and workshops, have written books and have ongoing newspaper columns, books, blogs and newsletters. And, no matter what the actual topic, they all share a basic value that I call:
P — is a parenting plan
U — is unconditional love
R — is respect for your child as he is right now
E — is encouragement
These make up the framework of any resources that will come from Parenting Today. These four pillars are the essential ingredients for raising healthy children who will develop into capable young men and women.